A Special Needs Military Family's Journey through an IEP World

Our son, Jake, is 12 years old and has a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (high functioning) and ADHD. Since Kindergarten, we have fought many school districts in Hawaii, Texas and Maryland to provide a Free, Appropriate, Public, Education that is mandated by IDEA.  On top of the stressors of being a military family, our family has endured the agony, stress, many tears and financial burden, to help our son be successful at school through an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) that he is entitled to by state and federal laws.

Please allow me to explain the arduous process of fighting for our son to receive a Free, Appropriate, Public Education, and the challenges that we have faced each time we go to the table to implement goals, objectives and accommodations into Jake's IEP. 

Jake attends 7th grade at a charter school in Maryland. In September of 2014, we attended an IEP meeting and gave the school permission to conduct a full, comprehensive evaluation of Jake. When we met again on November 17, 2014, we were told that we had one (1) hour to go over the IEP, and once that time was up, the school would finalize the IEP. We were told in this meeting that an academic assessment (WIAT III) of Jake had been done, and based on the results, his grades in school and one observation done by the Principal, that our son no longer had a Specific Learning Disability. The school concluded that because Jake no longer had a Specific Learning Disability, he no longer qualified for his 4 hours of Math services and that they would be removing all of his goals and objectives from his IEP. Jake would be left with one (1) hour of requisite learning (organization, etc) help each week. When we disagreed and asked for Math goals to be put back into the IEP, we were told that the school was not going to provide anything they did not have to provide by law, and if we disagreed, we could seek due process or mediation. We chose not to sign the IEP and requested to reconvene the meeting because we needed time to process the blow we had just received. Immediately following the meeting, I contacted numerous special education attorneys in the Maryland/DC area, desperately seeking help in our situation, only to realize that our family would have to pay thousands of dollars in order for our son to receive services he is entitled to by state and federal laws. I contacted Parent’s Place of Maryland and one of their parent advocates agreed to call into the IEP meeting scheduled for November 19, 2014, even though it was the very next day.

On November 19, 2014, we reconvened for the IEP meeting and again we were told we had one (1) hour to discuss our son’s IEP in its entirety. We decided it was in our best interest to audio record this meeting. To our disappointment, the school did not treat us as equal members of the IEP team, nor did they care to listen to our concerns. We were the only people in that room that could provide firsthand knowledge and continuity of our son, however, our words fell upon deaf ears. The parent advocate did a fantastic job of quoting IDEA laws but it was not enough to convince the school to do the right thing. Instead, we were told that the school serviced 600+ students and they could not focus on Jake’s needs

We walked away from that IEP meeting completely heartbroken and worried for our son. In the months that followed, we would see Jake go from loving school to hating it. He would cry in the car on the way to school and beg us not to make him go. He would wake up at all hours of the night, heart racing and with a stomach ache, because he was constantly thinking about no longer receiving the services he needed at school. He told us numerous times that he was lost and had no idea what he was doing at school, specifically in Math class. He has also endured months of unfair punishment, from what we feel is due to retaliation, however, the school would most likely disagree. I don't expect them to agree since they have to maintain their innocence. 

After months of dealing with this, our family was exhausted and ready to just give up. We decided that the only way the school district would provide our son with a Free, Appropriate, Public Education and take us seriously, would be by hiring a special education attorney. I contacted numerous attorneys in the Maryland/DC area, and all requested a retainer fee between $10,000-15,000 , plus $300-500 per hour to take on our case. There are thousands of special needs children going without their IEP services at public schools simply because their parents cannot afford to fight a school district for services mandated by IDEA. There is nothing FREE about having to do this. To help you understand how horrible the situation has been for our son---he has gone his entire 6th grade year and 5 months of his 7th grade year without appropriate IEP services. Almost 2 years of his education lost, just in the state of Maryland. This isn’t counting the school years in Texas and Hawaii where we fought many years to get Jake individualized services based on his needs, without success. I must make mention that Jake attended a different school in the same school district for his 6th grade year, and we applied for the lottery at this charter school, due to the fact that he had not received appropriate IEP services at this school. Two schools in the same district failed to provide him with a Free, Appropriate, Public Education. 

Through the attorneys we ended up retaining, we filed a due process complaint against the school district. Before a special education due process complaint case goes to trial, a mediation session, where a judge sits in and listens to both parties’ cases, takes place. In order for families to be successful in trial, they must hire an expert witness to testify on their behalf. In this case, our expert witness would be the psychologist who performed Jake’s comprehensive psychological evaluation and found that the behaviors from Jake’s Autism and ADHD were impeding his learning. This psychologist listed many suggestions on how Jake would be successful at school, one being a private placement for children with high functioning autism.  The cost to have this psychologist as an expert witness came at the price of $2,000-4,000. By the pure grace of God, the mediation session on March 25, 2015 went in our favor, and the school agreed to all of our requests, except one---private placement. As I mentioned before, we are a military family and we recently found out that we will be getting stationed in Texas in July 2015.  In the case that we were not moving, our family would have taken the school district to trial, have to pay the $2,000-4,000 for an expert witness, and pray that the judge would rule in our favor. An extremely low percentage of due process hearings are ruled in favor of the parents, so it would have been a gamble our family would have had to take. There is something very unjust and unethical about the outcomes in due process hearings. This school district cannot be forced, by law, to pay for private placement and compensatory damages in Texas because Texas does not fall under Maryland jurisdiction. The mistakes that this school district made came at a very small price for them; and a very huge price for our son. As our family moves on to our next base, we hope and pray that this nightmare of unethical and unjust practices from school districts will forever be a distant memory. However, realistically, the odds have not been in our favor.

Our frustration comes from the fact that we took our concerns about the non-compliance of our son’s IEP to the principal, assistant principal, counselors and IEP facilitators of the school, as well as the special education director, regional superintendents, legal and compliance specialist and the school board. We also contacted a Maryland state senator twice, and he personally contacted the Superintendent twice on our behalf, and we still could not get the school to provide our son with a Free, Appropriate, Public Education. Just this school year, the process to go from an IEP meeting to mediation took almost 5 months, plus all of 6th grade that Jake went without appropriate services. That is a very long time for a special needs child to go without IEP services tailored to their individual needs.

Our job as parents is to raise civilized, well-educated children, however, our special needs children fall behind because the special education system in America does not set up our children for success. Schools are given numerous chances to fail our special needs kids, with little to no reprimand, prolonging the timeframe a special needs child goes without services. 

I know many of you are in the same boat that our family is in, and you feel like giving up. My hope is that you will stand up and fight for your child because YOU are your child's ONLY advocate!!! I won't say that the road is easy, but I will say that it will be worth it. 

My goal is to raise awareness about the injustices done to our special needs children, and I hope that you will join me! I would love to see every state in this country adopt a Burden of Proof law that would force school districts to prove that the IEP they are providing to our children is not only adequate, but tailored to their individualized special needs. Parents should not have to bear the burden of proving why the IEP is not adequate for their special needs child. I would also like to ensure that full faith and comity laws, in terms of compensatory damages awarded to a special needs child, would be passed. This would mean that the compensatory damages awarded would carry over to another state. This is extremely important for military children that must move around so frequently. 

The only way to raise awareness, is to talk about! Share it with EVERYONE! We have the great privilege of contacting our state and national representatives and voicing our concerns. Please take advantage of that! Also, please familiarize yourself with the federal and state laws that govern IDEA. Empower yourself with this knowledge so that you can adequately fight for a FAPE for your special needs child! Lastly, DO NOT GIVE UP! 

In the coming weeks, I will personally be writing letters to the President and First Lady, as well as to senators around the country to shed some light on special education and IEP's in public schools. Please join me in praying that someone will listen!

I am not an expert in special education laws and IEP's, but I have BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT! So, if you need advice or even someone to listen to you, please don't hesitate to contact me. Chances are, I've already dealt with the same thing you're dealing with. And if I can't provide you with an answer, I will help you look for one. If you need someone to cry with you, I'm an expert in that area. I have shed MANY tears over fighting public schools and IEP's. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read about our journey through an IEP world!

If you'd like to contact me, my email is LSNESLONY@gmail.com

Lemon Meringue Pie

Oh, Lemon Meringue Pie....how I love thee!!!!!! 

Ingredients (filling):

1 1/2 cups sugar

1/4 cup cornstarch

1 1/2 cups water

3 egg yolks, slightly beaten

3 TBSP butter

4 TBSP lemon juice

1 1/2 TBSP lemon zest

Ingredients (meringue):

3 egg whites

1/4 tsp. cream of tartar

1/4 cup sugar

1/2 tsp. vanilla

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

Bake your pie crusts ahead of time. 

*I cheated and used store bought pie crusts....you can make your own if that's what makes your heart smile! ;)

Directions:

I make the filling first. So....

Juice lemons until you get 4 TBSP worth. 

Set aside. 

(Don't throw the lemons away. You'll use them for the zest!)

Then, zest your lemons. 

You need 1 1/2 TBSP of zest.

Set it aside.

In a sauce pan, mix 1 1/2 cups sugar, 1/4 cup cornstarch, 

and gradually add the water.

Cook over medium heat and stir constantly until the mixture thickens and starts to boil.

We forgot to separate the eggs and egg yolks

 ahead of time but it's ok.

Here's Haley doing an awesome job of separating 3 eggs.

You don't want to get ANY of the yolk in the egg white mixture because it doesn't help the meringue get stiff peaks.

We're going to take our chances! We're risk takers! ;)

Anyway, back to the filling. 

Here is what it should look like when it thickens.

Add the egg yolks to the mixture! 

Obviously we didn't slightly beat our egg yolks but we just mixed them into the mixture and it worked just fine! 

Boil for one minute, stirring constantly.

Remove from heat.

It should look like this! Nice and yellow!

Remember the lemon zest and juice?

Add it to the yellow mixture now!

Along with the 3 TBSP of butter. 

You don't have to melt the butter ahead of time. The filling is hot and will melt the butter! Awesome!

Fill your baked pie crust and set aside.

On to the meringue!

Mix the 3 egg whites and 1/4 tsp. cream of tartar 

and 1/2 tsp vanilla.

You want it to look frothy.

This is important: add the 1/4 cup of sugar only 1 tsp. at a time and mix on a high speed. It takes awhile to form stiff peaks.

Seriously, make sure you add the sugar slowly!

And you keep on mixing! 

Thank God for Kitchen Aids! I can just watch it do the hard work!

Eventually, it'll thicken enough and you'll be 

able to form the stiff peaks.

Spread the meringue onto the filling and with a 

flat spoon or spatula, pull up stiff peaks.

Make sure to cover and seal all the edges or the meringue will separate from the crust. 

It will still be edible, it just won't look AS pretty! ;)

Haley and I baked two pies!

Bake for 10 minutes, until meringue is slightly brown.

Let it fully cool, then refrigerate for at least 1 hour!

That's the hard part! ;)

My sweet Haley was a fantastic helper and is so proud of her first Lemon Meringue Pie!

Happy Baking!

Sopapillas & Honey Butter

Sopapillas are so stinkin' delicious! 

I don't know why I do this to myself but I make them and always manage to eat at least 5!

This time, I had to take some to neighbors and friends so I could get them out of my house. FAST!!!

Ingredients:

2 1/4 tsp (or 1 packet) Active Dry Yeast

1 1/2 cups warm water

1 TBSP sugar

4 cups flour

1tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. cinnamon

1 TBSP melted butter

oil for frying

Directions:

In a bowl, stir warm water and sugar until the sugar dissolves.

Stir in the yeast and let it activate (about 5-10 minutes).

It should look like this when it's activated. Maybe foamier. 

You'll wonder why foamier sounds like such a weird word!

Or at least I did! ;)

Anyway, in a separate bowl, 

add 4 cups flour, 1 tsp. salt, and 1/2 tsp. cinnamon. 

Stir it all together!

Remember the foamy yeast mixture?

Add it to the dry ingredients, along with the 1 TBSP melted butter.

And get your hands all dirty! Yay! 

You may want to wash them first! 

Or, you can totally just start mixing. Germs are cool! ;)

When you get it into a loose dough ball, 

remove it from the bowl and onto a floured counter.

Knead for about 5 minutes.

When you get it into a pretty ball like this, 

put it back into a bowl sprayed with PAM or oil.

You don't want it to stick to the bowl when it rises.

It won't be fun....I PROMISE! :)

Cover the bowl and let it rise for 1 hour!

The dough ball will double in size...or almost double.

When this happens, punch it down....go ahead, take out all of your frustrations of the day! JK!

Then, on a floured counter, use a rolling pin to roll out the dough.

Until it's about 1/4 inch thick or so. 

I don't know how you measure that....just guess! LOL!

Cut the dough into any shape you like! 

I used cookie cutters and a pizza cutter!

My sopapillas are hearts and triangles!

In a large pot, heat the oil. 

You want to put enough oil so that the sopapillas 

will float while frying.

Once the oil starts bubbling, add your dough shapes!

Fry for 45 second to 1 minute on each side, or until brown.

Remove them from the oil onto paper towels 

to absorb the excess oil.

Add cinnamon and sugar right away!

Otherwise, it won't really stick to the sopapillas.

You want that cinnamon sugary goodness to stick! ;)

Have your little one add more cinnamon and sugar if you want! 

Haley felt like they needed more!

And TA-DAH! 

Deliciousness!

Serve with honey.

Or honey butter.

Or, just eat them however you want!

To make honey butter, add 1 part honey to one part butter and cook until melted. (You can microwave it if you'd rather!)

Here's another recipe I like that's similar to Texas Roadhouse's honey butter version. It's thicker than the honey butter usually eaten with sopapillas but still very yummy!

Ingredients:

1 stick butter (room temperature)

1 cup honey

1/2 cup powdered sugar

1 tsp. cinnamon

Directions:

Using a stand mixer or hand mixer, mix the butter for about a minute.

 Until it's nice and creamy!

Add the honey, powdered sugar and cinnamon.

Mix it all together for 1 minute.

Doesn't it look yummy??!!

I warm it up on the stove or microwave 

and drizzle it on the sopapillas!!

Happy Baking!

Oh-So-Chewy Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

Oatmeal Raisin Cookies are my FAVE kind of cookies!! 

After playing in the snow today, my kiddos asked me to bake them some cookies, and I happily obliged! ;)

And of course, I'm going to share the recipe with you!

I'm not gaining 5 pounds without ya! ha!

Ingredients:

2 cups flour

1 1/2 cups old fashioned oats

1 1/2 cups raisins

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. salt

3/4 cup butter (1 1/2 sticks), melted

1/2 cup white sugar

1 cup brown sugar

1tsp. cinnamon

1 TBSP vanilla extract

1 egg, plus 1 egg yolk

Preheat oven to 325 degrees

Line cookie sheets with wax paper or parchment paper

Melt butter and let it cool.

Then, in a medium bowl, mix flour, baking soda and salt.

Set aside.

Cream together the melted butter, brown sugar and white sugar.

Beat in the cinnamon, vanilla, egg and egg yolk

for about 2 minutes.

You want it to be creamy.

Add the flour mixture and blend by hand.

Add the old fashioned oats and raisins.

You want it to just blend into the mixture.

Scoop out 1/3-1/4 cup balls of dough and 

place onto the cookie sheets lined with parchment paper.

Bake for 15 minutes, or until edges are golden brown.

Enjoy!

Happy Baking!